3 Reasons I Won't Go Back to Jamaica

relax|beach: JAMAICA

3 Reasons I Won't Go Back to Jamaica

by Beth Powell 

Jamaica was beautiful, the sunsets were stunning, the beaches were gorgeous and the turquoise water was dazzling, but I won't visit again. Allow me to explain why I am crossing this popular resort island off my list. When I travel I either take enrichment trips or relaxation trips and am sometimes pleasantly surprised to achieve both objectives in a single destination. Jamaica was this year's "winter get-away for relaxation and warmth" destination. We stayed at the Negril Palms hotel, which allows patrons to opt for all-inclusive or not. We opted to pay as we go because we like to explore areas we visit and learn about cultures. And, I think all-inclusive resorts are communist - people pay a set price and then become a captive audience for all their drinks and meals, therefore the resorts are only competing for the initial purchase.  After the initial sale they aren't making more money so, in my opinion, they aren't motivated toward excellence and therefore often land at mediocrity. I digress, back to our Jamaican resort, although the bed was uncomfortable, the resort itself was acceptable, it was older but I like mid-century architecture and wanted a more authentic place to stay than a stucco'd over resort that looked like every other spray stucco covered Mc-beach resort. In summary, the resort itself is not the reason I don't plan to return to Jamaica and continuing on I'll share the real reasons. 

Reason #1: JAMAICA IS DANGEROUS

We were irresponsible travelers and were unaware of this fact until one of our cab drivers (almost proudly) advised us that Jamaica was one of the most violent countries in the world. A little research after we got home proved that out - The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) ranked Jamaica as the having the 6th highest homicide rate in the world. According to the UN's Global Study on Homicide Report's Executive Summary there were almost half a million homicides worldwide in 2013 and more than 1/3 of those were in the Americas, another 1/3 in Africa, 28% in Asia,  5% in Europe and .3% in Oceania (Australia, New Zealand, etc...). The US State Department reports that most violence is Jamaican on Jamaican and of the almost 1200 murders in 2014 only 8 were U.S. citizens. Only eight. The last time I checked ISIS had killed four Americans. In one year's time, Jamaica claimed twice the number of American murders than the most powerful terror organization on the planet.

After our cab ride from Montego Bay to Negril, I was under the impression that people might also be at an increased risk of dying in traffic accidents, the center line of the road is mostly just a suggestion. This isn't overly alarming until your cab driver meets an oncoming car while passing a motorcyclist, but doesn't fall back into the right lane so everyone passes each other three across on a two lane road. It was kind of like being in a James Bond movie, only wasn't even close to that kind of cool and the cab driver looked nothing like Daniel Craig. 

We lived through the cab ride and, after being in Jamaica for a few days, I began to believe the statistics on violence because it seemed some of the Jamaicans I encountered were revved up and angry as their normal operating mode. For example, seemingly typical conversations for one of our cab drivers were conducted in what I would consider an overly agitated state if I had been having the same conversation. 

Reason #2: THE PEOPLE ARE AGGRESSIVE

If we took a stroll down the beach or even laid on our resort's beach chairs we were accosted by beach vendors selling everything from drugs to bracelets. We were only safe from solicitors if we stayed up on the resort's pool level. We understand the reality that other countries do not have the affluence or economic stability enjoyed by the United States, which is another reason we don't do all-inclusive resorts, we like to spread our vacation money around directly to the local shops, restaurants and people. However, this level of solicitation bombardment was over the top. To make matters even less relaxing, some of the vendors wouldn't take no for an answer.

Still determined to see real Jamaican culture we paid a local guide nicknamed "Dopey," (his real name was Peter - I'll let you guess why his nickname was Dopey), who we met during a beach stroll, to take us on a walking tour of Negril.  We saw the Red Ground neighborhood up close and personal. Dopey said when it rains in Red Ground it looks like the earth is bleeding. I believed it too because their red dirt was  maroon as compared to Oklahoma's orange-red dirt. The wealth disparity there was extreme, people either lived in very nice gated homes or shacks. Dopey knew everyone, rich and poor alike. Looking back it wasn't that any of the Jamaican vendors were mean but there were a lot of them, all the time, and some were so aggressive that if I'd been an un-escorted woman I wouldn't have left the resort at  night. 

Reason #3: LACK OF VARIETY

The Jamaican food scene isn't all that great. All of you spicy food lovers, who are loosing your cool at that comment, calm down for a minute and listen. I like jerk chicken, I do, it's very tasty, but when you go somewhere for a week it's hard to eat the same thing every day. So, it's not that it's bad food, it's just that there isn't enough variety. Even branching out to Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburgers in Paradise didn't fix our food discouragement because they weren't as good as they had been at the Key West Margaritaville. The seafood was also disappointing, I ordered lobster at one restaurant and it was not good, in fact I'd describe it as yucky. I don't know if it was dead too long, if it's poop chute wasn't cleaned properly, or if it consumed a poor diet when it was scavenging on the ocean floor but it was just plain yucky. The Jamaican patties were pretty good though and the Blue Mountain coffee is so good that it doesn't need a drop of cream or a granule of sugar. 

The music lacks variety too, it's all reggae all the time and they can turn any song into a reggae song. I heard Air Supply's Making Love Out of Nothing At All in a reggae version and pretty much all of Michael Jackson's music has been converted to reggae. If you are planning a trip there is no need to listen to Bob Marley before you go to get in the Jamaican groove, you'll hear it endlessly while there, so opt for Zach Brown or Jimmy Buffet for pre-trip beach mood music. 

Those are the primary reasons I won't be planning a return trip to Jamaica but that doesn't mean I don't think you should go, at least once. Jamaica may well be a right of passage that you need to experience so you can fully appreciate the peace and serenity of other destinations. More importantly, you should visit Jamaica and venture out of the resort so you'll fully appreciate the benefits we all enjoy simply because we had the good fortune to be born on American soil.